I have always hated crying, I sometimes feel uncomfortable when people cry not quite knowing what to do. Personally, I have always thought crying was seen as a sign of weakness and I was not keen to let other people see they had got to me.
However, as I have got older something has happened and I cry pretty much all the time! Sad films, I can feel the tears coming, when I heard Amy Winehouse's new song I got choked up. When I get ultra stressed, the waterworks start, after having an argument once with someone they said I turned the waterworks on to get sympathy, nope really didn't, can't seem to control it.
I'm not entirely sure what has happened to me for this change to occur.
I used to be able to keep the tears at bay, keeping them in a special place to come out in private or not at all. But now I can find it really difficult keeping them in which can be quite embarrassing, when trying to keep cool.
Recently for work I spoke to a woman whose son had died. She had invited me into her home to pay tribute to him. It was always going to be difficult, she spoke about him through laughter and tears, and when I left I couldn't help but burst into tears. I didn't know him but I felt bad for her, and could feel her pain. I suppose in some situations you put yourself in their shoes and you can 't help but be overwhelmed.
My boyfriend couldn't understand why I was crying afterwards but when you are in a highly emotional and charged situation like that it is very hard not to get caught up.
I do seem to cry pretty much all the time and I have no idea why. It is almost as if at some point I opened the emotional doors and the tears started flooding and haven't been able to stop.
I'm not sure if I see it as a sign of weakness anymore though, I find it quite a release. If I am frustrated or stressed if I have a good old wail I usually feels heaps better after.
At the end of the day who cares! So what yes I am a cry baby!
No comments:
Post a Comment