Thursday 29 April 2010

Girls Night Out

Now this is something I have been pondering for a while, but came more to light on recent night out. The issueI have is in relation to getting ready to go out, I must admit I am quite good., I take about an hour, in which I have a bath, get lotioned up, hair sorted, make up and outfit on (which I have usually decided before, saves a lot of time). I know some girls who can spend hours getting ready for a night out, fake tans, layers of carefully placed make up, but to be honest I think I look good after my hour and it also means when I have to take it all off after a night out it doesn’t hours and I can get my well earned beauty sleep.

After a few drinks and hobbling in agony because my beautiful shoes were practically ripping my feet to shreds, I went on a little rant to my friend about how easy boys have it. Not only do they get to wear flat shoes on a night out, they also to a degree (unless they are metrosexuals) take no time at all to get dressed up.

The top and jeans combo can’t be that hard to put together, whereas us girls have a range of different outfit options – dresses, skirts, trousers, shorts, strappy tops, glittery tops? Then there is the underwear options, can’t wear a white bra under a black top and vice versa, unless you are making a Carrie SATC fashion statement. Then shoes and what make up to wear, then trying to fit everything you need in to a bag the size of a small envelope, you also have the debate on whether to take a coat or not, as you will either be holding it all night or having to queue for it at the end of the night. A lot of texts go between me and my friends before a night out, what you wearing? You taking a coat? What kind of shoes are you wearing? Usually so you can plan, if they take a coat you will, if they are wearing their ridiculous shoes they can’t walk in so will you as you will be able to keep each other up for support.

I know I don’t have to wear heels out, but I don’t wear them through the week, they make me feel glamorous and make me feel taller than my 5ft 2 natural height. However, I do regret wearing heels quite frequently on a night out, when I stumble through my front door, not because I am drunk but because my feet hurt so much they decide they aren’t going to walk anymore. I know I can wear flats but I love shoes and have a load of beautiful heels I just need to numb my feet in future, and anyway I have my granny days to wear comfortable flats.

Although men don’t want to believe it women do dress for other women, they want to be complimented in the toilets or asked where a certain item is from, not ridiculed because they look as if they got dressed in the dark.

Now I have my friends wedding this weekend, where I am a very proud bridesmaid, but for some reason I have got 4 inch, peep toe glittery heels to wear, now I regret it already as I know I will be crippled for the whole day, when will I learn! I think I will be smuggling flats or kitten heels in to help my feet, vanity over comfort! I’m just glad the dress is floor length so no-one will be none the wiser – here’s hoping anyway.

Wednesday 28 April 2010

Friday 16 April 2010

Frankie Boyle, Portsmouth Guildhall, 15-04-2010

The controversial comedian Frankie Boyle played a second night at Portsmouth Guildhall last night. I have to admit I was a little apprehensive about this gig, due to the press a story in the press last week, highlighting how he had offended a mother who had a downs syndrome daughter. About three of his jokes are about downs syndrome; however, Boyle did make a good point in that the jokes about downs syndrome are probably the least offensive of his whole act!

No one and no thing is safe from the comedian’s dark humour, from religion to politics, Jade Goody to Christine Bleakley. There were a lot of his jokes when I wondered if it was right to laugh and some jokes were very close to the knuckle. But then you know what you are getting when you see Frankie Boyle, the things that used to be left in when he was on Mock the Week was shocking enough, so imagine him uncensored, if you didn’t like him then, you would hate him live.

He is probably one of the most un-PC comedians around, talking about Baby P and Jack Tweed’s recent rape case. Saying that he did make some valid points about Ashley Cole using an unregistered phone so he could send anonymous texts to women and then used said phone to take photos of his face! A true definition of a moron as Frankie put it himself.

I knew that he was probably one of those comedians who talks to the crowd, so I made sure all toilet breaks were taken before he came on. He tried to give career advice to some lad in the front row as well as trying to convince a social worker for young offenders to turn into a modern day Fagin.

One thing I found increasingly annoying wasn’t Boyle’s crude jokes but the people in the crowd taking photos. Particularly two girls in the second row who throughout seemed to be either filming, taking photos or texting, seemingly totally disinterested, why pay £20 to come to a show and then not pay attention! They did however, catch the attention of Boyle who asked the woman to turn her phone off and even threatened to chuck her out of the auditorium.

One mention has to go to Craig Campbell, the support act, a Canadian who has lived in this country for 10 years gave a brilliant and hilarious insight into England, he is visiting the south on tour, make sure you check him out.

Frankie Boyle was funnier than I was expecting but just as outrageous.

Thursday 8 April 2010

A nice day for a white wedding...

Your wedding day is meant to be the best day of your life. The day where you show the world that you are committed to this person forever and that until death do you part you will be by each other’s side. For women it is the chance to wear a princess style dress and feel a little superior over your single friends (you may deny it but you know there is an element of gloating to it), and blokes you get to show off the most beautiful woman in the room and get blind drunk without any repercussions as most of the people there will be drunk.
However, the politics of weddings goes applies to everything, from the bridesmaid dresses to the cake. I recently was introduced to the world of weddings, a close friend is getting married and so it seems are all the people she knows. I just thought you planned your dream wedding and hoped people turned up and didn’t get too drunk. I thought the most stressful thing was making sure you didn’t put on or lose too much weight between dress fittings, or hope none of your bridesmaids gets pregnant.
One evening the discussion got on to the amount of weddings over the up and coming months and the decision took an interesting turn. I found out that if weddings are weeks apart you have to make sure that any hymns you have are a different order or completely different from the two weddings before, especially if the weddings have the same guests. Menus, first songs, and bridesmaid dresses cannot be the same style, or colour. It’s just a logistical nightmare, no wonder many women turn into Bridezilla and many men reconsider the person they are marrying.

I knew how difficult it must be to organise a wedding, however, I just didn’t realise you had to plan and arrange everyone else’s weddings. It seems you can’t have your own perfect wedding you have to make sure you don’t plan someone else’s. Especially if the weddings are close together and have the same people attending, who wants their wedding compared as if it is on Livings ‘Four Weddings’ programme? Who knew organising a wedding had as many politics as a general election, I knew there was the code that none of the guests should wear white (unless there is a theme) and no one, absolutely no one should try and up stage the bride in any way shape or form.

My idealistic nature says that when I get married I just want me and my fiancĂ©e, our family and some close friends, nothing big and showy for the ceremony and maybe a big party for everyone after. On the other hand the 5 year old wannabe Princess wants the lot; let’s just hope no one else I know is getting married at the same time as me because you never know there could be a Bride Wars 2 in the making.

Thursday 1 April 2010

New Articles

New Article out today for Solent Life:
http://www.solentlife.co.uk/

Competition featured in Ice Skating article.

New Guide 2 out soon!!

Also should have a piece in the June edition of Cellar door magazine
(http://cellardoor-magazine.blogspot.com/)

And my Independent Cinema column in The News tomorrow.

New blog post should be up soon.........