I love When Harry Met Sally, it is a fantastic film. It can make you laugh and it can make your heart leap, and best of all if you have a boyfriend it is the type of film that you can watch without him moaning about how gushy it is.
As far as films goes it does bring up a lot of interesting questions about relationships and more interestingly relationships between men and women. Pretty much from the start Harry sets it out that men and women cannot be friends because sex gets in the way. Sally of course cannot understand this and he says that ‘Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her...it doesn’t matter (if they she doesn’t want to have sex with him) because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.’
In many ways the film does play to this in a way, Harry and Sally do end up having sex, and in the end fall in love. It does make me wonder if men and women can be friends without sex getting in the way. I would like to think so, because how sad would life be if you couldn’t have a friend of the opposite sex.
Also the points he makes about partners getting worried, it really makes you stop and think. My boyfriend has female friends and I will admit I didn’t take to the idea as well as I would have liked, it just seemed initially strange to me that he would have female friends. Also I felt if he was flirty with them they would get the wrong idea, as I know what women can be like, hello I am one; therefore, I was initially a little green-eyed monster. I have now realised I am an idiot and I shouldn’t have worried, but I think anyone no matter how secure their relationship is would get a little stab of jealousy, there is a fear that he will share stuff with them that he doesn't with you.
However, if I had a good friend who was male and my boyfriend was like I was, I will admit I would not be very happy. To feel comfortable and trust a male who is not your boyfriend is a good thing, the advice you get from a guy is not the same as what you would get from a girl. Guys have a different view on situations they come at it from the guy perspective and don’t try to sugar coat anything, which means that although what they say might sting a little at first you know deep down that what they say is the truth and what you need to hear.
I think if both parties are single then it must be hard for a good friendship not to get confused with other feelings. However, if both are in relationships I don’t see what the problem is. I think sometimes the danger is that feelings may get out of control but if you have always seen someone as a friend why should your feelings ever change to anything else, they don’t with your girlfriends so why should they with your guyfriends? Especially as in many cases you have a very strong and close bond with your girlfriends.
I suppose as well if one is single and one isn’t, it can be hard. If the single one starts to look at the attached in a new way, especially if people start to notice and it gets a little awkward when you both realise your relationship has gone to another level. Or you get jealous when the once single now has a partner fearing you have lost your friend, although those feelings apply to your girlfriends when they get a new boyfriend.
I thought that writing this would help clear the relationship fog that has descended while watching one of my favourite films. However, I must say I am even more confused. I suppose I like to think that men and women can be friends without sex getting in the way, well I hope so anyway.
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